My story
Some years ago, a man I had once been with, someone I still cared about, split from his long-term partner. He was lonely, and he started writing to a woman he met online. She was beautiful, warm and attentive. She said all the right things.
He fell for her completely. He was so taken with her that he made a small book: their emails printed and pieced together, with his own drawings of her on the pages in between. It was one of the most tender things I've ever seen.
Then she asked him for the money for a plane ticket, so they could finally meet. And that was the moment it all came apart. She didn't exist. The woman he had been drawing was a scammer's invention.
He was devastated, not just by the money she wanted, but by the loss of someone he had come to love. Looking back over those emails afterwards, the warning signs were all there. She'd fallen for him very fast. There was always a reason she couldn't talk properly. The story kept building towards a need. He just couldn't see it, because he was inside it.
Romance scammers don't rely on stupidity. They rely on loneliness, on hope, and on the fact that when you're falling for someone, you're the last person who can see clearly.
Why I built it
For years I've written and talked about sex, love and dating in later life through Sex Advice for Seniors. The people who write to me are exactly who these scammers go after: often older, often recently divorced or widowed, looking for connection and brave enough to go looking online.
Romance fraud is growing fast. In the UK, police received more than 10,000 reports in 2025, with over £100 million lost, and almost half of those losses came from people aged 55 to 74. Most victims never report it at all, because they're ashamed.
I wanted to make something that could be the friend he needed: someone who reads the messages with fresh eyes and gently says, "Hang on. Something isn't right here." Privately, without judgement, and before any money changes hands.
Your privacy, and what it can't do
Your privacy. I never store the chats you check. The free chat check runs on your own device, so your messages are never sent to us or anyone else. If you buy a photo check, your photos (and, if you choose, the other person's messages) are sent securely to Anthropic and Google to be checked, then discarded. Payments are handled by Stripe.
What it can't do. Catfish Detective looks for warning signs. It can't prove that someone is real, or that they're a scammer. If it raises concerns, take them seriously. If it doesn't, still never send money, gift cards or crypto to someone you haven't met in person.